As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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