i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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