just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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