Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
