well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
