Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
