operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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