sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
