I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
