And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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