I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
