If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
