if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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