I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize