We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just blew my weed a kiss
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
