Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
