And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
