wat bout pragnant strippers??
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
