I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
