can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Drake has all the answers
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
