i barfeds in our rink
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
