why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
