weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
