Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
