Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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