I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
