he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
