I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
