guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
