I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
