Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
