What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Dick very happy bro
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
