Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
