...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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