i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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