The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
