he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
