I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
