Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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