forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
