I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
