i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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