He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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