He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
