If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
