my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
