I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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