do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
