Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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