I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
