Screwed.edu
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
