There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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