Christians are straight up FREAKS
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Randomize
