i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
