Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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