Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
