2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i barfeds in our rink
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
