and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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