wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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