Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
