True but thats because hes a fetus.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
