Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize