i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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