He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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