I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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